Los Angeles Travelogue

My latest business trip takes me to Los Angeles. L-A. La la land. Yeah, baby.

On this trip, we decided to stay outside of the city in a little town called Cerritos.

Here in Cerritos, they have a Sheraton, where I'm staying, a Macaroni Grill, an Old Navy and a Borders, and palm trees, right outside my window! I can't quite see the ocean, but I'm sure it's here somewhere outside of the Sheraton. Maybe I'll go out tonight and check. Or, I might just avail myself of the various treasures in the Starwood Entertainment Network on the good 'ol television. Movies for only $12 bucks, and I don't have to go anywhere!

Tomorrow, we'll work some more and then drive the minivan back to the airport and have more adventures. Maybe we'll through Compton. By highway at least...

The Common Good: No Sacrifice At All

David Brooks again shows why he's the liberals' favorite conservative in his New York Times column this week (registration and possible payment required; free registration at the StarTribune). His theme is one I've been harping on here and in political conversations for some time now: why can't a Democrat get up and say what they stand for -- because clearly they stand for both everything and nothing today.

Brooks notes a growing consensus by liberal intellectuals around an old but forgotten theme: The common good. Citing a recent essay by writer Michael Tomasky, Brooks notes:

"Tomasky is now back with an essay in the American Prospect, in which he argues that it is time Democrats cohered around a big idea -- not diversity and not individual rights, but the idea of the common good. The Democrats' central themes, Tomasky advises, should be that we're all in this together; we are all part of a larger national project; we all need to make some shared sacrifices and look beyond our narrow self-interest. Tomasky is hoping for a candidate who will ignore the demands of the single-issue groups and argue that all Americans have a stake in reducing economic fragmentation and social division."

He notes that Democratic pollsters are saying the same thing.

"John Halpin and Ruy Teixeira, have just finished a long study that comes out in exactly the same place. Surveying mountains of polling data, they conclude that the Democrats' chief problem is that people don't think they stand for anything. Halpin and Teixeira argue that the message voters respond to best is the notion of shared sacrifice for the common good."

As a conservative, Brooks points this out a more negative light than I would. If I were writing for Democrats today, I'd talk not in terms of "shared sacrifice" but about that shared mission.

I'd point out that we are a part of all of our communities, and in America, our government is not some separate caste of elites but an expression of ourselves, what we want for our communities, our states and our nation. Our shared mission is to make them all a place where people can improve their lives, make something of themselves and take care of each other when they can't do it themselves.

You can tax me for this. It's no sacrifice at all.
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Bonus! Visit some of my other political screeds!

Criminal Ineloquence

Invest in America

Hindsight is Foresight

State of the Union Part II

State of the Union Part I

Drinks Are On Me!

An Observation:

Here's what my work life has looked like over the last eight months:

• Sincere emotional and physical burnout at work. Ability to concentrate, focus and enjoy life severely impacted.
  
• Said burnout contributes to loss of major account.
  
• Loss of major account leading to dramatic turnaround in overall mood and outlook on life. Laughing more, speaking and acting with confidence.
• Said outlook and mood improved by boss who, embarrassingly, pushes all the right buttons and sends me on a positive career course.
• Contribute mightily to many non-revenue generating but important new business projects.
• Receive raise via said boss.
• Direct supervisor recommends me for promotion.

Exactly what's going on here?

Is being happy and confident is good enough in today's work world?

Or am I just better at this than I thought?

Regardless, it's severely impacted my blogging. So, I apologize to my thre or so regular readers and those of you who land here via odd MSN searches. Thank you for your support.

And smile! Drinks are on me!

The Opposite of Humor

Or, "Snark for Snark's Sake"

I've discovered the opposite of humor and it is Newsweek. And Jay Leno. Newsweek and Jay Leno epitomize this pop culture referencin', we-all-know-what-jerks-they-are, it's funny 'cause it's cruel kind of humor that is just...not...funny.

Here's a recent Newsweek headline on Julia Roberts' appearance on Broadway: "It Sure Beats Mona Lisa Smile 2". Check out the article. No mention of the movie, no relevance. "Remember that Julia Roberts movie that sucked? Ha ha!" Basically, it's a cheap shot. The mass media equivalent of pulling on Julia's pigtails and then pointing a laughing.

This pretty much all there is to Leno's humor, and Newsweek is chock full of these. I'd offer more, but I'm late for a meeting. With a jerk. Ha ha!

Musings on Web 2.0

I wrote this little musing on communications, where the web is going, etc. I liked it, so I thought I'd share it:

In 1971, Memorex launched its audio recording products with a commercial featuring Ella Fitzgerald’s recorded voice shattering a wine glass. The tagline: “Is it live or is it Memorex?”

The ad was a sign of the times. Back then, the pinnacle of the entertainment experience was the live performance. Real, immediate, unmediated.

Today, the media is the experience. Home theaters with high definition television and stereo surround sound are seen by some as superior to going to the movies. Most sports fans will tell you that watching a football game on TV has distinct advantages over seeing it live. iPods are piping all the music you choose in high quality sound, right into our ears. TiVo let’s you watch what you want, when you want, again and again.

We’re no longer passive consumers of entertainment. We’re creators. Bloggers aren’t journalists, they’re moderators, asking questions, opining, trying to set the agenda and create more chatter, whether among a small group of friends or in the global conversation on big issues. We create iPod playlists and download songs rather than buy entire CDs. We by video cameras and make our own movies to record our lives in living, moving color … we even can edit out the sad parts. Kids take video and music from the Web and make mash-ups and viral funnies that become conversation fodder among IM buddies, message boards, email, in the coffee shop and around the water cooler. We upload our photos to Yahoo or Snapfish to share with friends. With a few clicks, we create memory books, coffee mugs and t-shirts. We publish our novels on CafePress. We play our music and bare our souls on MySpace. Even if you don’t do all of this … you know you can. Maybe you even think you should. It’s not a part of life. It’s part of living.

The truth is this: We no longer “experience”. We no longer consume: We author. We collaborate. We participate.

We are the media. We are the message.

Where do you think things are going?

Creating Online Community

Recently, the creator of the online comic "Johnny Saturn" posed a question on his forum about how one builds community online. Here is the answer I posted on his forum, slightly edited. He liked it, and I was quite proud of it myself (mainly because someone liked it). Perhaps you'll find it useful. Perhaps, someday, I'll find it useful, too:

...I follow a couple forums for humor sites that really have created community (see www.jaypinkerton.com or www.pointlesswasteoftime.com -- some of it is NSFW, if that matters to you).

Part of the community feel is that the people involved are invested in the site somehow -- their forum entries contribute to the site, they entertain and critique each other, they're creative together via humor. And they show off. I think part of it also is that people feel like they get to know these humorists on a semi-personal level -- they're part of something (Pinkerton, for example, has met a woman, taken jobs at National Lampoon and Cracked and moved from Canada to LA to New York since he started his forum). PWOT has been around long enough that there are core members of the community who meet offline once in awhile and clearly care about each other.

They seem to involve a good number of friends and fans in driving and moderating the forum and they have nurtured the community for many years. The folks who started the forums also contributed to other forums over the years, made internet friends and built a network that way.

Not an easily duplicated formula... I think it's hard to build the forum around Komikwerks because it's not a Johnny Saturn forum for Johnny Saturn fans. You might consider building a blog or community around the Johnny Saturn site and offering opportunities for fans to contribute ideas and art, letting us know where you are and how you're promoting the comic, offering sneak previews, introducing other projects, etc.

Just a thought (and I'm in PR, so I think about these things) ... I agree that vibrant message boards are the exception rather than the rule ... and I bet you'd get a pretty good readership for a blog...

What do you think?

So...

My six-year-old informed me last night that I begin all of my stories with, "So...", as in, "So, Space Knight had been flying through space for many days..." or, "So, the Awesome Eight gathered for their weekly meeting in Sky City..." or, "So, would you get in bed already...?"

So, I thought, it could be worse. Here's the thing: I've been happy lately. A little bit more productive, not a lot, but happy. I'm not used to it, and not sure what to do with the extra energy. I've been running on the basement treadmill a few mornings a week, which is cool, given my mysterious 10-pound weight gain a few weeks ago and accompanying belly. I've had great conversations and a few bits of inspired wisdom to share with colleagues, which is fun. And I've been put in charge of "Web 2.0" for our office, which will be super neato cool, as soon as I figure out what that's going to mean.

I've even got nice feedback on a bit of inspired wisdom about building online community to one of my favorite webcomic writers, which I think I'll blog here separately.

It's not like life is so perfect. I just refuse to be bothered by it.

Here I am finding nothing to write about while I'm feeling strangely happy ...

But, I've never bought into the "you need to be tortured to be an artist" thing. You're an artist if you can do art, tortured or not. Which makes me...

So.

Where to Go With Nick Kristoff

My lunchtime routine often involves a steak-guacamole-cheese-tomato burrito, a Coke and the opinion pages of the New York Times. I ignore ads, until today, when a powerful notice on the back of the Arts section caught my eye:

"Win a Trip with Nick Kristoff"

A "life changing," "incredibly grueling" experience for "one intrepid student" with the Pulitzer Prize-winning New York Times columnist Nicholas D. Kristoff visiting the most impoverished parts of Africa.

The whole thing makes me queasy. I admire what Kristoff does -- he reports firsthand on teenage prostitution in Asia. Genocide in Darfur. The plight of women in developing nations where tribal traditions allow a woman to be punished for allowing herself to be forcibly raped.

So, yeah, hey -- why not join 'ol Nick on his tour of the underbelly of the world? It might just change your life! And, you "won't merely be Nick's traveling companion -- you might also have the opportunity to bring fresh perspective to his reporting via your very own TimesSelect Web log, or video blog on NYTimes.com ..." In other words, if your writing is good enough, and you don't piss off Nick or his editors, they'll publish your blog, and, as a budding young journalist, you'll have clips!

Here's a thought: Why doesn't "Nick" just bring Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie along and call it "The Simple Life: Africa"? Not only will the resulting press coverage shine unprecedented light on the most impoverished people in the world, but think of the ratings for that video blog!

What To Do in New York City

Another in my continuing series of firsthand reviews of big city haunts frequented by this savvy business traveler. This week, I spent two days and one night in New York City. The Big Apple! The City That Never Sleeps! Yes, that New York City.

Best Hotel: Grand Hyatt on Lexington and East 42nd Street

I stayed in the Grand Hyatt because of its location near my conference. Good plan -- I could maneuver the rotating doors and be at the office in mere minutes. I'm sure it was near many exiting places to visit -- New York is full of them. But I pretty much stuck to the hotel and my meetings. But the hotel was delightful. A grand lobby and entrance resplendent in shiny marble. Friendly reception desk and concierge service. Crowds of young people milling about in their tuxedos and shiny dresses, having hallway conversations practically outside my door at 2:30 am while I was trying to watch a movie... more on that later!

The room was small but well appointed. Wireless was T-Mobile, which means it wasn't free. I consider this a big no-no for $245-a-night hotels, but it worked well. The shower had a glass door and the towels were surprisingly plush.

Best food: Grand Hyatt Hotel

When my conference was planned weeks ago, agendas were distributed, trumpeting a "Dinner in Soho!" Mysteriously, this was not to be. Instead, we dined in a majestic room (called the Majestic Room) in the Grand Hyatt itself. How convenient! The meal began with a salad wedge and dressing. The main course consisted of some sort of cut of prime rib, or steak, drenched in a gravy that helpfully attempted to overcome the meat's chalky texture. The Cabernet Sauvignon (a red wine) was tasty and refilled often, and the plate was adorned with a potato-quiche wedge thingy and those little carrots with the green stuff still hanging on. I highly recommend the dessert, fruit in a chocoloate shell bowl and the after-dinner candies.

Best Place to See a Movie: My room at the Grand Hyatt Hotel

I chose Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire on the Grand Hyatt's "On Command" pay per view movie system. Why leave the room when you don't have to? The movie was gripping. There were some technical problems -- primarily some ghosting in the TV screen. Time to invest in some upgraded tech, Hyatt!

The TV had plenty of channel choices, and I did find myself enjoying HBO that I don't get at home, catching some of the first half of Titanic. Harry Potter ended at about 1:00 am, and, amid the excitment I couldn't sleep, so I tried out HBO again, and it didn't dissappoint: AVP: Aliens versus Predator. Oh yeah.

Worst Shopping: Duane Reade Store on East 42nd Street

Let me just say that I'm extremely disappointed that the Duane Reade doesn't carry postcards. My kid wanted postcards. Why couldn't they have postcards. The staff there looked at me like I was some sort of tourist.

Well, that's about it for now. Hope you feel a little bit more ready now for your next trip to the Big Apple!
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Check out my other informative travel guides:
Things to do When You're in Philadelphia and What I Ate in Chicago. You'll be all the better for it!

News of the Day

Your Daily News Brief

> Daunte Culpepper was traded from the Minnesota Vikings to the Miami Dolphins for a 2nd round draft pick and pound of raspberry chocolate chip ice cream. Culpepper really stunk it up last year, but I'll miss my 4 year old shouting "Cuullll-pepper." All in all, my wife and I are pleased with our decision not to buy him a $50 #11 Vikings jersey.

> People have been clamoring for my personal opinion on where to have coffee in Mankato. Now that I have had a 16 oz Mocha Ice Crema at a Dunn Bros. in Mankato, I'd vote for the Dunn Bros. in Mankato. Added bonus: The place is clearly a converted Burger King, and is decorated like a furniture store. For dorm lounge furniture.

> Sadaam Hussein took the stand in his trial for the crime of being an evil dictator. With quotes that included the phrase "rivers of blood" and "I am the head of state," I'd say he did little to help his cause. I'll offer deeper analysis when I've read the rest of the article.

At the same time, have you ever imagined a more irrelevant trial than that of Sadaam Hussein? If you find him "not guilty," what are you going to do? Set him up in a two-room apartment in Baghdad and tell him to go get a job? What's he going to do? Open up a cafe? Or, do you apologize and let him run for election on the "My Enemies' Blood Will Flow Like Rivers" ticket? The guy is guilty because we blew up his army and houses and killed his sons and pulled him out of his hidey-hole. Pretending otherwise is theater.

The story I'm missing is the one that actually identifies, for real, who the bad guys are and what they want. I'll get back to you on this.

> This morning I've eaten a frozen waffle (toasted), a cup of milk (refused by my 4-year old) and a cup of coffee (Dunn Bros, Columbian, Dark Roast). If anyone out there has inside connections, please alert CNN.

Thanks.

I Would Pay for Digital Comics

My last post, on Marvel's Runaways series, got me thinking about digital comics. Namely this:

There ought to be digital comics subscriptions from Marvel and DC. I am unlikely to put money down to own copies of graphic novels or trade paperbacks or, god forbid, any new issue of an ongoing series.

But I absolutely would pay to read them online. I don't want them in my house (to add to the 1200+ comics from the 1970s and 80s already there); I just want to read them. When I want to.
And, while I'm enjoying the heck out of some free online serials, all in all, I'd rather read my old favorites as a whole story, rather than a page at a time.

Marvel recently sent out a survey asking very specific pricing questions about digital comics, what people want, what they'd expect and how much they'd pay. I hope they asked these questions to the right people. I bet that they'd find that people like me -- comics fans in their late 30s or 40s who would love to read comics but don't want to clutter up their house with them (or let their little kids read them yet) would be happy to subscribe so they can read them in the comfort of their offices, coffee shops or living rooms.

Maybe Marvel would pay me to promote this...

Edit 11:53 am: some other blogs with interesting takes:

A take on the overall business model of comics -- print at home? Others?
http://storyboard.darkora.net/?archive=2005_11_01_news_archive.php#113219286185870308

A dissecting a dissenting view..."Comics are a collector's medium..." I'd disagree, as I think the author does, too... there ought to be a place for those of us who just want to read great stories...
http://returntocomics.typepad.com/return_to_comics/2006/01/digital_comics__1.html

Apparently, Marvel is definitely heading in this direction, but the "catalog" referenced is moving a lot more slowly and the selection is a lot more random than advertised... ideally, we shouldn't have to be "tantalized" by a digital offering into looking up the full series in print -- we should be able to buy access to the full series digitally...
http://cinerati.blogspot.com/2005/12/marvel-to-offer-digital-backissues.html

Runaways

Despite the fact that I'm way too old for this, I've been reading Runaways Volume 1 at Barnes & Noble during lunch hours, which collects, well, Volume 1 of Marvel's Runaway series -- issues 1-18.

Besides gettting a really sore be-hind from sitting on the floor, this was a tremendous comic book adventure. Completely original concept, cool powers, unique characters. Fun, scary and fun.

The comic plays off the idea that every teenager thinks that their parents are evil at one time or another. The question: what if a group of good kids found out that their parents really were evil?

Great characterization, a perplexing mystery, and a complex plot where everything is far from black-and-white. Teen heroes gaining and losing confidence as they fumble with their powers, teenage angst, crushes, corrupt cops, supervillain parents and how to live with a pet velociraptor.

Most excellent.

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Criminal Ineloquence

Minnesota Public Radio held a debate with the four leading Democrats seeking the party nomination for governor. These people are criminally ineloquent.

I can't give you exact quotes. But, you know, if I'm getting ready for a candidates debate, I'd surely have prepared a damn good explanation of why I'm running for governor. One said said, essentially, "I'm running for the future. Because of our children." Of course you are. But you don't have to assume that your voters are children. Another, the leading candidate, basically said that he's for doing things better. Oh good. Thanks!

I understand that there's taking the high road and there's getting specific and you've got to know your audience and split the difference. But a simple question -- why are you running for governor -- deserves a simple answer. Here's what I want to hear:

"Look, Minnesota's got a long tradition of progressive government to help folks live a better life. We used to invest in education, and our schools were the envy of the nation. We used to take of our poor and our elderly. We used to put money into roads, parks and the arts. And we were successful. Great businesses grew and thrived. New businesses flourished. People stayed here, because they knew that the good life was here in Minnesota.

"In the past decade and a half, we've gotten away from that. We've cut education funding. We've starved our social welfare system -- we're leaving people out in the cold. We haven't addressed critical transportation issues. We've cut back on arts and parks funding. If it takes taxes -- well, that's what taxes are for -- they're what we contribute to better our communities.

"We've lost sight of why we as a state have come together to form a government -- so that we can make a better life for ourselves, our families and our communities, today and into the future. Minnesota was once a special place -- it can be that way again ... let us dare to be exceptional. That's what I'm here to do."

I'll put away my soapbox now. Maybe this makes sense only to me, but I just want to see Democrats be proud of who they are, and what they've accomplished. They need to stop being cowed by the "no taxes" crowd, and tell us what they'll use our taxes for. I think there's a majority that'll be proud to get behind a Minnesota that stands for something.

Kirby Puckett: Still Smiling

"Kirby Puckett's going to be all right," he said in 1996. "Don't worry about me. I'll show up, and I'll have a smile on my face. The only thing I won't have is this uniform on. But you guys can have the memories of what I did when I did have it on."

- Kirby Puckett, on his retirement from baseball

Click here for some thoughts on Puckett from the morning of March 6.

Invest in America

I've been musing on the problem of the Democratic Party message for some time. This morning's New York Times (sign in probably required) once again highlights a Democratic party adrift:

At the Capitol in Hartford the other morning, State Senator Christopher Murphy denounced the "disastrous prescription drug benefit bill" embraced by his Republican opponent, Representative Nancy L. Johnson.

Jeff Latas, a Democratic candidate in an Arizona race, is talking about the nation's dangerous reliance on oil imports from the Middle East. Ed Perlmutter, a Colorado Democrat, says he is running against "the arrogance and cronyism" displayed by Washington Republicans.

And in New Mexico, Patricia Madrid, the state attorney general, is urging the United States to set a timetable for quitting Iraq...

These scattershot messages reflect what officials in both parties say are vulnerabilities among Republicans on Capitol Hill, as well as President Bush's weakened political condition in this election year.

But they also reflect splits within the party about what it means to be a Democrat — and what a winning Democratic formula will be — after years in which conservative ideas have dominated the national policy debate and helped win elections.

And they complicate the basic strategy being pursued by Democratic leaders in Washington to capture control of Congress: to turn this election into a national referendum on the party in power, much the way Republicans did against Democrats in 1994.

Interviews with Democratic challengers in contested districts suggest that the party is far from settling on an overarching theme that will work as well in central Connecticut as it does in central Colorado.

And while Democrats have no shortage of criticism to offer, they have so far not introduced a strategy for governing along the lines of the Republican Party's Contract With America, the 1994 initiative that some Democrats hold up as their model for this year's elections.

My question: Why should this be so hard? Campaign not on "what might work" but on what you believe. Here's my proposal:

The Democrats should run on a platform called "Invest in America". The platform: "We are Americans and we care about America. Government isn't some stranger -- it's Americans, as communities, towns, cities, states and as a nation -- who've come together for common good -- to ensure security, opportunity and a future for our people. Democrats believe that Government is an investment in America.

• Invest in Security -- by finishing up in Iraq, re-building global alliances, fighting terrorism and encouraging economic opportunity worldwide. In energy independence and conservation. In securing our country from terrorist attack
  
• Invest in Our Workers -- by investing in high-tech manufacturing, research and development, training and education -- in new markets and jobs. And in helping folks who need a hand.
  
• Invest in our Health -- with national health insurance, research into new therapies -- including stem cells -- and in ensuring that everyone has access to great health care.
• Invest in Our Children -- in ensuring access to high qualtiy education, and ensuring that we're prepapred to compete in world markets.
  
• Invest in America -- in infrastructure, in parks, and in the environment.
  

Let me know what you think...

Bitter Stroke

What can you say?

The last time I saw Kirby Puckett was on the Plaza outside of the Metrodome. He and Blyleven were going to a card signing before an afternoon game. We were standing right outside the glass door of the Twins corporate offices, when out comes Kirby. I can't remember what he was wearing, beyond the then trademark dark glasses he's worn since his glaucoma diagnosis. But I remember being shocked at his size...the man had become a whale. Even in his playing days, he was shaped like a fire hydrant -- short, thick and solid. But now...

I remember being in my downtown office when Kirby retired. We gathered around the radio for awhile. Kirby thanked God and told us not to feel sorry for him. He'd had the chance to play the game he loved ... we loved ... so long and so well, there was nothing to be sad about, no regrets. He talked and talked and I don't remember what he said after that because you listed to Kirby back then and you just laughed becasue he had this patter and he was laughing and joking and having fun and you just went along for the ride, like his famous "climb on board" boast to his teammates before Game 6 of the 1991 World Series, where he went out and backed it up as few others ever have.

And I remember telling my friends Back East about becoming a Twins fan and saying that you just had to love Kirby Puckett. Even today, knowing how tarnished his legacy has become here, how that likeability turned out to be a bit of an act, I see him suffer and remember and think, you know, whoever he was to his wife and to his girlfriends and his buddies...to a fan, that act was for us and it made us feel good. It made us proud to be a part of his team. He doesn't have to do it for us anymore.

What can you say?

Good luck, Kirby. We're with you.

The Katrina Genre

All I have to say about this is that you'd have to think some great books should come out of the Katrina disaster. When before, in the past 50 years, have we lost a city?

As far as Curtis Broussard Jr. is concerned, he is not missing. He is in Missouri City, Tex., where he plans to stay. But according to the State of Louisiana, Mr. Broussard, formerly of Cherry Street, New Orleans, has not been found.

His daughter, Antonette Murray, had not heard from him since Hurricane Katrina. In January, she finally reported him to the state, expecting to hear back that he was dead. But though he was added to the missing list, other family members had known of his whereabouts since September, and a reporter recently put Mr. Broussard back in touch with his daughter after a few telephone calls.

Despite intensive efforts to reach the scattered refugees of Hurricane Katrina, nearly 2,000 such names remain on the state's list of people still unaccounted for, out of 12,000 that had once been reported. Even now, new missing persons reports trickle in; there were 99 over the two-week period that ended Feb. 5.

But officials say the number is less a measure of the storm's lethal power, or even of the lives it upended, than of the trauma, disarray and instability that persist half a year later. Only about 300 of those on the list are believed to have died in the flooding; many of the rest are adrift in America, having failed, for a variety of reasons, to remain in touch with their own families. A call center set up by the state to reunite families has struggled to get government financing and research tools.

Many of the recent reports of missing people are from distant relatives or friends looking for news. But others are more urgent: they come from mothers looking for their children's father; from families who have just found a relative's body in New Orleans and need to register that person officially, a requirement before a body can be released by the authorities; or from people who seem only now to be able to assume any task beyond day-to-day survival.

"We get some calls that say, 'I just thought about my fiancé is missing,' " said Lenora Green, shaking her head in a mixture of sympathy and disbelief. "It's like they just click back into reality because of the shock they're going through."

I wish I could say I know anything about New Orleans, beyond two trade show visits that led to drunken stumbles about the French Quarter, one visit to a palm reader and the discovery that everyone has their own, unique take on the best food in New Orleans and each and every one of them is right.

One Minute Stories - Part II

edit - 3/3/2006

My friend reads this piece and notes that it was John Cale who co-founded the Velvet Underground, not John Cage. However, I am heartened by the fact that they knew each other, and even collaborated for a time.

In conclusion...umm...yeah.

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So I'm doing these narcissistic searches for any online reference, however unlikely, to my blogs. And I discover that "One Minute Stories" is a concept that is being explored by John Cage, erstwhile founder of the Velvet Underground and all around avant artiste at his site, Indeterminacy.

While I've never been a Cage guy...in fact, the lines above pretty much sum up all I know about him, I'm still getting this huge feeling of "i'm not worthy of having the same ideas as John Cage." Which, of course, is nonsense. I'm perfectly capable of having good ideas. I just don't.

Anyway, he's a much more disciplined artist, and the ideas are fascinating. Here's what he's doing:

John Cage was an American composer, Zen buddhist, and mushroom eater. He was
also a writer: this site is about his paragraph-long stories -- anecdotes,
thoughts, and jokes. As a lecture, or as an accompaniment to a Merce Cunningham
dance, he would read them aloud, speaking quickly or slowly as the stories
required so that one story was read per minute.

This site archives 186 of those stories. Each story is spaced out, as if it were being read aloud, to fill a fixed area. If you like, you can also read them aloud at a rate of one a minute.

You can read a random story (reload or select the asterisk for another), pick one by number using the form on the main page, or choose one through one of the three indices. The index of names lists people and beings and the stories they are mentioned in, and the index of first lines lists the first line of each story alphabetically. The stories often end in punch lines; the index of
last lines (my favorite) lists these alphabetically.

The stories are taken from two of Cage’s books, Silence and A Year from Monday, and from the Folkways recording of him reading 90 of them aloud as David Tudor plays piano (among other things). The numbering is arbitrary, except that the first 90 stories are those on the Folkways recording in order. Several of them (numbers 104, 124, 138, 139, 140, and 163) were not specifically presented as stories by Cage; they were taken from various longer texts.

So there you have it. I'd never heard of this before, but I will say that my version is a bit less complicated. I'm writing short stories. It takes about a minute to read them. I think. I've never tried it. You should. It' s fun. I hope you'll visit One Minute Stories. Visit John Cage's site, too ... but don't compare, for the sake of my self esteem. Just don't.

No More Guilty Pleasures

Back in about 1992 or so, my roommate brought home a gift from his girlfriend -- the latest edition of the Rolling Stone Music Guide. A red-white-and-blue book almost twice as thick as my fist, the Guide contained written reviews and "star ratings" of almost every rock'n'roll album out there. Five stars was a classic, four among the best an artist has to offer and among the better in its genre. Three stars merely average in the grand scheme of things. Et cetera, putting each album and artist in critical and historical context of the history of popular music in the rock era.

I absconded with it almost immediately and read it nearly cover to cover, evaluating my musical tastes against those of trained critics, feeling alternately elated and disappointed in their take on my favorites.

There seems to exisit a class of people who want their tastes to be critically approved, and I, unfortunately was one of them. It was suddenly no good to like Billy Joel (** or ***), Joe Jackson (***) or Harry Chapin (**, ***). I had to feel guilty for thinking that Van Morrison's "Moondance" was overrated and dated, for feeling that John Hiatt's "Bring the Family" (***) was superior to "Slow Turning" (****), and being unmoved by any of Springsteen's five-star "classics" after "Born to Run".

The Guide ruined me. Suddenly, I was musically adrift. Some artists I'll probably never enjoy again. I turned to new music -- to alt country / rural rock to escape -- new-ish genres barely touched by the Guide at that time. But I still remember the ratings on some of my favorites, a good 13 or so years later.

Now, I'm going through my CD collection and re-discovering old music that was supposed to have sucked, but, you know, doesn't really. As I write, I'm listening to The Waterboy's "Room to Roam" (two or three stars or so -- I am doing this from memory). The Rolling Stone reviews gave four stars to anything they did before "Fisherman's Blues" and two or three after that.

I loved "Fisherman's Blues" -- still do -- I bought it on tape before I had a CD player (yeah, I'm old). Rollicking, Dylan-esque vocals melded with romantic Irish folk and emotional, universal lyrics, ending with a beautiful reading of Yeats' "The Stolen Child," the likes of which I've never heard on a rock album before or since.

"Room to Roam" was the follow up, and I grabbed it. Listened to it constantly. Lead Waterboy muse Mike Scott must have gotten happy for this album, one that dove headfirst into the Irish folk and romantic legends -- filled with stories and songs about Raggle Taggle Gypsies and a trip to Broadford Green in springtime, and heartfelt folk rock paeons to first loves and longtime romance.

There's probably a story behind all this -- I don't care what it is. There are surely more "authentic" Irish folkies -- it doesn't matter. For me, every time I hear "Room to Roam," I want to dance around the room and sing out loud.

In addition:

> I've seen Barry Manilow in concert. He was great. So were Paul Anka, Anne Murray and Judy Collins. So were James Taylor and Elton John.

> The Beach Boys sucked. Los Lobos didn't have it the night I saw them.

> Semisonic was the sexiest live band ever.

> As far as I'm concerned, no artist who became big in the Sixties and early Seventies has done an album worth listening to since 1983. That includes you, Bruce, Van, Crosby, Stills, Nash AND Young. It includes you, Eric Clapton, Mick Jagger, each of the Who, any former Beatle, Byrd or Animal. And it includes, you, Bob Dylan, who's had multiple lauded comeback albums that do nothing whatsoever for me. It doesn't include John Prine, who I like, because he was never that big in the first place. I'm sure there are tons of exceptions.

In conclusion, go out and get "Room to Roam." Maybe you'll like it, too. Or maybe you won't. One thing I promise is that hereforth, I'll no more speak of "guilty pleasures." There's no good reason to feel guilty at all.

I'm going to dance around the coffee shop now.

Why Yes, I'll Have a Port

...or Coming of Age in the White House

Bush is right. The port issue was well vetted. The sale of US port management contracts is bad because it appears to be bad, not because it is. From the New York Times:

In the political collision between the White House and Congress over the $6.8 billion deal that would give a Dubai company management of six American ports, most experts seem to agree on only one major point: The gaping holes in security at American ports have little to do with the nationality of who is running them.

The deal would transfer the leases for ports in New York, Baltimore and Miami, among others, from a British-owned company to one controlled by the government of Dubai, part of the United Arab Emirates. But the security of the ports is still the responsibility of Coast Guard and Customs officials. Foreign management of American ports is nothing new, as the role already played by companies from China, Singapore, Japan, Taiwan and trading partners in Europe attests.

While critics of the deal have raised the specter that it might open the way to the "infiltration" of American ports by terrorists from the Middle East, the Dubai company would in most cases inherit a work force that is mainly American, with hiring subject to the same regulations as under the current British management.

Among the many problems at American ports, said Stephen E. Flynn, a retired Coast Guard commander who is an expert on port security at the Council on Foreign Relations, "who owns the management contract ranks near the very bottom."

The real question: What's going on at the White House political office? Or the communications office? Does anyone have their eye on the ball here? I'm what we like to call a "communications professional" (in other words, a 'PR guy')... but it doesn't take a trained professional: Of course this was going to be a political firestorm. Does Bush, with no need to stand for re-election, no longer care how he looks to allies or opponents? What happened to the famous discipline of the Bush White House? Who's minding the store 'round those parts?

If there's anything worrisome about the Bush White House these days -- and there is a lot -- it's their growing apathy toward the rest of government -- and by extension, the rest of the country -- all on our behalf.

They make me feel like a teenager, fighting for a say: I'm not a kid anymore, Mister President!