No More Guilty Pleasures

Back in about 1992 or so, my roommate brought home a gift from his girlfriend -- the latest edition of the Rolling Stone Music Guide. A red-white-and-blue book almost twice as thick as my fist, the Guide contained written reviews and "star ratings" of almost every rock'n'roll album out there. Five stars was a classic, four among the best an artist has to offer and among the better in its genre. Three stars merely average in the grand scheme of things. Et cetera, putting each album and artist in critical and historical context of the history of popular music in the rock era.

I absconded with it almost immediately and read it nearly cover to cover, evaluating my musical tastes against those of trained critics, feeling alternately elated and disappointed in their take on my favorites.

There seems to exisit a class of people who want their tastes to be critically approved, and I, unfortunately was one of them. It was suddenly no good to like Billy Joel (** or ***), Joe Jackson (***) or Harry Chapin (**, ***). I had to feel guilty for thinking that Van Morrison's "Moondance" was overrated and dated, for feeling that John Hiatt's "Bring the Family" (***) was superior to "Slow Turning" (****), and being unmoved by any of Springsteen's five-star "classics" after "Born to Run".

The Guide ruined me. Suddenly, I was musically adrift. Some artists I'll probably never enjoy again. I turned to new music -- to alt country / rural rock to escape -- new-ish genres barely touched by the Guide at that time. But I still remember the ratings on some of my favorites, a good 13 or so years later.

Now, I'm going through my CD collection and re-discovering old music that was supposed to have sucked, but, you know, doesn't really. As I write, I'm listening to The Waterboy's "Room to Roam" (two or three stars or so -- I am doing this from memory). The Rolling Stone reviews gave four stars to anything they did before "Fisherman's Blues" and two or three after that.

I loved "Fisherman's Blues" -- still do -- I bought it on tape before I had a CD player (yeah, I'm old). Rollicking, Dylan-esque vocals melded with romantic Irish folk and emotional, universal lyrics, ending with a beautiful reading of Yeats' "The Stolen Child," the likes of which I've never heard on a rock album before or since.

"Room to Roam" was the follow up, and I grabbed it. Listened to it constantly. Lead Waterboy muse Mike Scott must have gotten happy for this album, one that dove headfirst into the Irish folk and romantic legends -- filled with stories and songs about Raggle Taggle Gypsies and a trip to Broadford Green in springtime, and heartfelt folk rock paeons to first loves and longtime romance.

There's probably a story behind all this -- I don't care what it is. There are surely more "authentic" Irish folkies -- it doesn't matter. For me, every time I hear "Room to Roam," I want to dance around the room and sing out loud.

In addition:

> I've seen Barry Manilow in concert. He was great. So were Paul Anka, Anne Murray and Judy Collins. So were James Taylor and Elton John.

> The Beach Boys sucked. Los Lobos didn't have it the night I saw them.

> Semisonic was the sexiest live band ever.

> As far as I'm concerned, no artist who became big in the Sixties and early Seventies has done an album worth listening to since 1983. That includes you, Bruce, Van, Crosby, Stills, Nash AND Young. It includes you, Eric Clapton, Mick Jagger, each of the Who, any former Beatle, Byrd or Animal. And it includes, you, Bob Dylan, who's had multiple lauded comeback albums that do nothing whatsoever for me. It doesn't include John Prine, who I like, because he was never that big in the first place. I'm sure there are tons of exceptions.

In conclusion, go out and get "Room to Roam." Maybe you'll like it, too. Or maybe you won't. One thing I promise is that hereforth, I'll no more speak of "guilty pleasures." There's no good reason to feel guilty at all.

I'm going to dance around the coffee shop now.

Why Yes, I'll Have a Port

...or Coming of Age in the White House

Bush is right. The port issue was well vetted. The sale of US port management contracts is bad because it appears to be bad, not because it is. From the New York Times:

In the political collision between the White House and Congress over the $6.8 billion deal that would give a Dubai company management of six American ports, most experts seem to agree on only one major point: The gaping holes in security at American ports have little to do with the nationality of who is running them.

The deal would transfer the leases for ports in New York, Baltimore and Miami, among others, from a British-owned company to one controlled by the government of Dubai, part of the United Arab Emirates. But the security of the ports is still the responsibility of Coast Guard and Customs officials. Foreign management of American ports is nothing new, as the role already played by companies from China, Singapore, Japan, Taiwan and trading partners in Europe attests.

While critics of the deal have raised the specter that it might open the way to the "infiltration" of American ports by terrorists from the Middle East, the Dubai company would in most cases inherit a work force that is mainly American, with hiring subject to the same regulations as under the current British management.

Among the many problems at American ports, said Stephen E. Flynn, a retired Coast Guard commander who is an expert on port security at the Council on Foreign Relations, "who owns the management contract ranks near the very bottom."

The real question: What's going on at the White House political office? Or the communications office? Does anyone have their eye on the ball here? I'm what we like to call a "communications professional" (in other words, a 'PR guy')... but it doesn't take a trained professional: Of course this was going to be a political firestorm. Does Bush, with no need to stand for re-election, no longer care how he looks to allies or opponents? What happened to the famous discipline of the Bush White House? Who's minding the store 'round those parts?

If there's anything worrisome about the Bush White House these days -- and there is a lot -- it's their growing apathy toward the rest of government -- and by extension, the rest of the country -- all on our behalf.

They make me feel like a teenager, fighting for a say: I'm not a kid anymore, Mister President!

Balancing Iraq

Here's a newsflash: The situation in Iraq is complicated. I found this stated in a straightforward, non-partisan way on Neil Gaiman's website. A friend of his serving in Iraq sums up the situation in Bagdhad -- from burning garbage for light and Fallujah refugees to the city's future as a tourist destination.

"I’d have to say that Baghdad isn’t exactly doing all that well. I’ve flown over the central city several times via Blackhawk……and I don’t think this city looked nearly this much like Detroit after a championship loss (or win, for that matter) twenty years ago. There doesn’t seem to be a single block w/out destruction visible from the air. It isn’t just the damage we’ve done (although we have done and continue to do our share)….

The utter lack of garbage pickup…..which if someone suggests it, leads at best to twice-weekly neighborhood burns. Hence the phrase you may have seen elsewhere re Baghdad burning—one never knows if those plumes of black smoke are from the aforementioned IEDs, mortars….or mass garbage burnings. Things are burned for light, because there is only electricity a few hours out of 24 after the bad guys have taken out the power lines or even power station again. Burned for heat, because there isn’t enough kerosene during this cold (definitely below freezing at night!) weather.

This will be a beautiful city and great tourist destination someday. Really it will! The most incredible full moons over sparkling waters, reeds lining the canals, glittering lights leading up to mosques…. And skies that can go on just forever, at night with stars so sharp they poke your eyes.

Impressive summation of the challenges and opportunities. Also, awfully cool to find Neil Gaiman's journal.

"My Audience Awaits"

...or, staring at myself in the mirror and finding my blogs...wanting...

So, I'm rethinking the blog thing. I like what I've done so far here and on my short story blog, but I've come to a difficult realization: I want an audience.

The problem is that I've always been against, as a matter of principle, excessive vanity, narcissism and pretentiousness. But what is a personal weblog but an exercise in vanity, narcissism and pretentiousness?

Confessing your moral failures is the first step on the road to recovery and embracing the truth is, short of a miracle, perhaps the first step in averting one's chronic impending disaster.

Which brings me back to the point that I must admit that I really want an audience. The question is: how do I get one? What do I have to offer that would draw in the Internet masses to read about what I have to say? How can I convince the world to come to me, to read me, to love me? Or, better yet, to bookmark me.

One might begin by taking an asset inventory. What do I have that you, the Internet public need?

> Lots and lots of experience in public relations. Particularly for technology companies.
> A quirky take on family life, what with all of my children and stuff.
> In-depth knowledge of Marvel Comics between 1977 and 1984. I did have this goofy idea that I could do a blog reviewing something from my comics collection (about 1200 total) each week. That sort of thing does seem to be popular these days.
> A minor talent for writing, that I've been trying to nuture these days. But really, who wants to read short stories? What does that really offer the world? I need to write the damn book I've been writing...

What does this offer the Internet public? Here are a couple ideas I'll explore... if anyone's reading, let me know what you think:

> The Heroic News Blog -- Perspective on the latest in News, Politics, Entertainment and Comics (ok, that's just weird, but potentially readable).

> Dom's Blog -- A blog that tells the story of "The Boy Who Could Fly" through his own blog ... an experiment in episodic storytelling. (Possibly even weirder, but it might be fun. But would anyone read it?)

> The Yet Another PR Blog Blog -- a unique perspective on public relations written by yet another PR guy. (I'm bored just writing this one.)

I'm off to do the appropriate research. My audience awaits!

# # #

VPs with Guns

Have a look at the news reports on how Dick Cheney shot his buddy on a hunting trip. There's a missing issue that merits discussion. Namely:

Why in God's name are we allowing the Vice President of the United States to go on hunting trips? Why are we allowing the man second in the line to the Presidency to be hanging around with guys with guns who could easily -- accidentally -- shoot him.

Look, if it's this easy to make a mistake -- to fire on your friend coming up from behind -- shouldn't we be thinking that it could easily have been our VP?

I'm not a gun-control freak -- I think we should have reasonable gun control laws that ensure the general welfare of the republic. There's a debatable range here. I'm not a hunger, but I'm all for hunting by hunters who know how to be safe.

But think about it: Cheney and is friends are experienced hunters. The knew the rules, knew the customs and knew how to be safe. And Cheney still shot this guy.

Forget the PR bungle and all that. The issue is: is it good judgement for the man next in line to be leader of the free world to be hanging out in the woods with guys with guns?

The Boy Who Could Fly - Part 2

My comic book script, continued. Click here for part one.

Page 14

Panel 1: Caption: Day 2.

Large panel -- half the page. It's gym class. The boys are playing floor hockey -- each kid has a stick, and they're chasing a little ball. Dom is in the foreground, outside of the action, but focused, concentrating, waiting to see how he can be of use.

DOM (VO): I hate gym class. I'm too skinny, too weak. But I've always thought that maybe, if you let yourself go... forget what you can't do and just...fly...good things will happen.

Panel 2: Small panel: Dom raising his stick to take a mighty slapshot.

DOM (VO): I know how to fly.

Panel 3: Small panel -- big burly guys slams into Dom's back straight from behind.

Panel 4: Dom looking up from before at RON. He's smirking.

DOM: What the...?

Panel 5: DOM points stick at Ron's chest. In the background, people are pointing and staring. Ron is surprised, a little embarrassed looking.

DOM: "Hitting from behind. Wimp."

RON: "Yeah? I'll see you after school."

DOM: "No, you won't."

GYM TEACHER (off panel): "Hey! Break it up over there! Get back in the game!"

Panel 6: Dom, from a high camera angle, looking angry, but stifled. His shirt is puffed up behind him -- the wings are growing from his back... stretching invisibly.

DOM (VO): Like I said, sometimes it takes just one look and you find a friend. Or not.

Page 15

Panel 1: Dom is in the school hallway, banging his head against his locker, hand on the combination dial.

DOM: "Dammit!"

MICHELLE (speaking off panel): "You have to turn it all the way around."

DOM: "Shut up."

MICHELLE: "Aren't you a sweetie?"

Panel 2: Small panel. Reaction shot. Dom looking up, irritated...

DOM: "Yeah? Why don't you..."

Panel 3: Small panel. Irritation has turned into stunned and tongue tied. He's looking at a girl, and he's smitten.

DOM: "Uhh..."

Panel 4: Our first look at MICHELLE. She has very long brown hair, a little below her shoulders, that frames a sweet round face, brown eyes. Her eyebrows are arched in amusement and her smile says the same. She's a nice girl with a bit of a wicked sense of humor, and her reaction to Dom's anger ... and his smitten look ... is that he's kind of comical. She's very pretty in a sweet, down-to-earth way - not terribly cool. She's wearing a long sweater and skirt, and a leather-bead necklace. She's hugging a couple text books.

MICHELLE: "Nice to meet you, too."

Panel 5: Dom and Michelle in profile, standing in front of a wall of lockers. Dom has one hand in his hair, other hand reaching out to Michelle. He's smiling sheepishly, embarrassed. Michelle is still holding her books.

DOM: "Sorry. I'm Dom."

MICHELLE: "Don't be sorry about who you are. I'm sure it's not that bad."

DOM: "Aren't you the sweetie?"

MICHELLE: "Always."

SOUND EFFECT: Rrrriiiinngg...

MICHELLE: "And on that note..."

Panel 6: Michelle looking back at Dom over her shoulder, close up, still showing a playful smile.

MICHELLE: "I'm Michelle, by the way. Nice to meet you, Dom."

Panel 7: Dom, having fallen backward into his locker, with a look that says, 'whew.'

DOM (VO): Maybe this school won't be quite so bad.

Page 16

Dom and Brian are walking out of the school, backpacks slung over their shoulders. It's a beautiful fall day in New England. Red and yellow leaves blowing by. Other kids in the background. Bike racks by the door.

DOM (VO): But you never know what's coming next.

BRIAN: "So, I hear you're making lots of friends."

DOM: "What, gym class?"

BRIAN: "Yeah. Ron's gonna kick your ass after school."

DOM: "You mean, now?"

BRIAN: "Yeah. I guess so."

Panel 2: Dom and Brian, viewed from behind. In the distance ahead, in the school parking lot, right at the edge of the grassy field, there's a huge crowd of kids gathered around...something...

DOM: "And yet you're here."

BRIAN: "Figured you needed someone to call your mom after."

DOM: "Much appreciated."

BRIAN: "Hey, you think that's Ron up there?"

DOM: "You've got to be kidding..."

Panel 3: Dom and Brian from behind, right at the edge of the crowd. Voices from above the crowd.

VOICES: "Is he gonna be OK?" "What happened to him?" "Who did this?" "Geez, poor Ron."

Panel 4: Dom and Brian, having pushed through the crowd, shot from below, look down in shock. We see Ron's legs, laying in the grass, blue jeans peppered with bloody holes, like they'd been attached by a thousand hornets.

BRIAN: "Son of a..."

Panel 5: The crowd has split aside and looks on in confusion as Dom runs away, stumbling in panic.

DOM (thought balloon): "No...no!"

Panel 6: Dom has rounded a corner of the school. We see him from behind, left hand clutching the red brick. Dom is looking off, gaping and gasping. In the distance, we see Cyril's the trench coated silhouette.

DOM: "It was you!"

Page 17:

Panel 1: Cyril in close up. Sneering.

CYRIL: "He was waiting for you."

Panel 2: Dom in close up. Shouting.

DOM: "You nearly killed him!"

Panel 3: Cyril in close up. Facing Dom. Condescending.

CYRIL: "You should thank me. He won't bother you again."

Panel 4: Full view of Dom, walking toward Cyril, pointing, angry.

DOM: "No! This is wrong. I won't let you do this!"

CYRIL: "Careful, Dominic. You might lose control."

Panel 5: Dom's back. His backpack is on the ground and his shirt has ripped wide open. You can see a strange, jagged ripple in his back, a bunching of muscles where the wings emerge, as if they were real...

DOM: "Aahhggghh!"

CYRIL (he's visible in shadow, in the distance ahead): "See what happens when you get angry? You have power!"

Panel 6: Dom facing off against Cyril. Cyril's arm is raised, and the swarm of sand and rocks and dirt and grit swirls in front of him.

DOM: "You're crazy!"

CYRIL: "You're a fool. You choose to stand against me? After what I did for you?"

DOM: "Not for me! I'm definitely not with you!"

Panel 7: Cyril - arm out, rock swarm spreading out before him.

CYRIL: "So be it!"

Panel 8: Dom, in 3/4 profile, covering his face against the swarm.

DOM (thought balloon): No! I can't let him do this...and I know how...

Page 18:

Panel 1: We see Dom in profile and the traces of his shimmering wings, flapped forward...the rock swarm has blown between Dom and Cyril. Cyril is leaning back in surprise.

CYRIL: "Clever...you are strong...but...can you protect your so-called friend?"

DOM: "What...?"

Panel 2: Cyril, Dom and Brian in a triangle. The rock swarm has turned toward Brian. Brian has thrown a beer bottle, which is heading like a missle toward Cyril. Dom is reaching toward Brian, trying to protect him, but too far away.

DOM: "NO! Brian, get down!"

BRIAN: "Yow!"

Panel 3: Dom's face, grim, determined.

DOM (thought balloon): Focus...focus...

Panel 4: Dom striding toward Cyril. Cyril stumbling, off balance. He's being forced back by a powerful wind from Dom's wings. At the same time, the beer bottle is circling away from Cyril.

CYRIL: "No!"

Panel 5: Close up of Dom's face, inches from the beer bottle.

DOM: "Damn!"

Panel 6: Brian's face, hazy and unfocused, from Dom's point of view as he regains consciousness.

BRIAN: "Yo! Dom! You in there?"

DOM: "Yeah..Cyril?"

BRIAN: "Ran off. You wanna get up?"

DOM: "I'm OK."

BRIAN: "Let's get out of here."

Hindsight is Foresight

http://www.startribune.com/562/story/225235.html (registration required, I think)

Rick Horowitz' column, published in the Star Tribune on Monday, said it as eloquently as can be said:

"Hindsight alone is not wisdom," the president declared. "And
second-guessing is not a strategy."

Well.

First of all, it's not second-guessing -- it's certainly not
hindsight -- if you said it before it happened. It's prediction. It's warning.
And there were all sorts of people sounding warnings long before Bush sent our
soldiers into Iraq. People who did war, or reconstruction, or counter-insurgency
for a living. Who knew that they were talking about and were ready to share
their experience, and their concerns.

The president and his people
weren't much interested in hearing them. Bush and Cheney and Rumsfeld knew what
they knew, and they knew better than anyone else. So we went into Iraq without
enough troops to get the job done. Without enough armor to protect those troops.
Without a coherent plan for the days and months after the statue came down.

The president and his people knew better.

They were wrong. Of
course they want to change the subject!
And it's hardly second-guessing --
or hindsight -- to use the past to help pick your way through the future. Or
would you prefer that every impression be a first impression?"

Exactly. The President is basically saying, "Whether or not we blew it before, we're here now so you have to follow us." The problem is that normally when you screw up, you're forced to admit it. You're chastised for it. You're forced to endure a great deal of oversight to ensure you don't screw up again. Our President, on the other hand, feels uncomfortable with the prospect of people reminding him how he screwed up. Uncomfortable that, perhaps, others may feel it useful to keep a closer eye on him, given past performance.

As we say in our office, we ought to put Mr. Bush on a "performance plan," one where we set specific improvement objectives and keep a close eye on him to see how its going. No more illegal behavior. No more pronouncments that fly in the face of reality. No more ignoring contradictory voices.

Or you'll have to talk to...Human Resources.

(DUM DUM DUUUUUMMM!)

Are You There God? It's Me, Monica

Are You There God? It's Me, Monica (subscription required)

I'm going to avoid the obvious "fun stuff" on this article and note that what struck me is Flanagan's characterization of the "heroic" efforts of Tipper Gore and the Parent's Music Resource Council of the 1980s.

I was in high school during the time of "Just Say No" and the dawning of the AIDS epidemic. The PMRC was roundly considered the epitome of meddling, middle-American evil. Today, Flanagan looks at the changing sexual mores of today's teen girls, and opines that what's missing is a sense of modesty, a sense that sex -- any sexual activity -- should be something special to a "nice" girl, and that whether there is an "oral sex epidemic"or not, girls need guidance. They need to know that they're hurting themselves -- and families aren't helping by letting them find their way on their own, or by insisting on pledges of abstinence.

Which brings us back to Tipper Gore and PMRC. Flanagan notes that the media and the left tend to vilify anyone who tries to protect children. And it's true -- they do -- hell, I do. And let's face it: the PMRC came off as a bunch of finger-wagging Chicken Littles shouting about how we'd all be corrupted by a bunch of songs. Frank Zappa was a bona fide American hero.

Now that I'm a parent, I'm not so sure. It's our job to help our kids make independent choices. It's also our job to instill them with values, to help them make smart choices. In the end, maybe the PMRC wasn't the right answer, or the right messenger ... but it doesn't meant they didn't have a point.

State of the Union, Part II

Whose Addiction? - Bush's surprisingly partisan speech. By John Dickerson:

Per my previous post: John Dickerson of Slate says it well:

"In 2005, Bush cast himself as groping for solutions to national problems
together with Democrats. Tonight, he depicted those who oppose him as lazy,
retreating, and negative. 'There is a difference between responsible criticism
that aims for success, and defeatism that refuses to acknowledge anything but
failure,' he said later in the speech. 'Hindsight alone is not wisdom. And
second-guessing is not a strategy.' He welcomes criticism in theory. But in
practice, he sees it all as defeatism, second-guessing, and 20-20 hindsight.

Politics is about defining your enemy. That's what the president did in
his 2006 State of the Union. But change the tone? This year, there can't have
been a person in the room who took that commitment seriously."

Maybe it was meant to be a political power play. Maybe he was throwing down his gloves to the Democrats. Maybe he's getting sick of being beaten up for bad decisions that led to the ongoing war in Iraq. If so, he needs to grow up. I just found all of it offensive.