Art for Art's Sake

Ahh...the glorious music of the keyboard...oh the art you can create:

l;aksdjfl;asdfja;sldjfasl;dfjka;sldfja;ldfja;ldfj;aldfj;aldfj;aldfjal;dfjal;sdfjla
;dfjla;dfjalsdf

Now, look how I start to mix in other rows... here's the middle row plus QWERTY! ...

aj;sdlkfjas;ldjfa;lsdfjqwoeituawoeitywoeitlkdfasl;dkfasodfjqopweityakdfj
aoetiuqwodfasdl;ufweijasdfwioetujawoeiuldkfwoe

And now, a little three-row action...

al;ksdjalkdjacm,v.x,cjgoeifnmaweoifnxcvkdhtiodnvawencvweopifnkl
d;vnaeiocvcmcxnwoehaxcvmnoer

And numbers!

;aklsdfl;aksj20935u239045lsdjf032459lksdjf23095ldsf340mncvc
gj3049lkdjeowkdac.,vcm409

With but a touch of the shift key...punctuation!

lka;sdnval;df()*#$@Y(*@NC@)#$*(SVMCXNGLDGC">NVEG@()$GNVDM<>SVMCXNGLDGC

(oops...CAPS LOCK! what spontenaeity!)

And now... the whole keyboard....!!!!!

lkajdlvna;lhgdkjh03489*()^(JHKDN(DS*Y983453mfdmnzxc,.vn48thasdklfzd90v8h4rtio

Thank you, thank you...yes I know... I feel blessed that we could be a part of this artistic experience together ...

How to Shoot an Apple off a Man's Head at 100 Yards

How to Shoot an Apple Off of a Man's Head At 100 Yards

If you enjoy nature hikes up easy rolling hills, antiqueing in an old river town, a variety of unique crafts by local artists, and teeth-rattling near death experiences, the Stillwaters Art Fair, this Saturday and Sunday, is for you. Here are some highlights.

Nature Hikes

Bring your backpack and take a hike! Trails will take you through historic Stillwaters and up the Lenaole Overlook, where there's plenty of space to spread out the picnic blanket, sip lemonade and watch the apple-shooting exhibition down by the river from a safe distance. Don't jump -- it's only gunplay!

Antiquing

If it's old, it's here! Stillwaters is known worldwide for its antique stores, where the motto is, "It may be 100 years old, but it's new to you!" The Stillwaters Musket Society has recently taken posession of a cache of vintage Civil War Benchrest Rifles, found just last month by a now-unknown Wisconsin antiquer, for the annual Apple Shoot. Polished and lovingly restored, these beauties were designed to be accurate from 1800 feet...but that was a long time ago!

Arts and Crafts by Local Artists

What is Art, and what is a Craft? Well, we'll let the philosophers sort out that timeless question! We've put Arts and Crafts together in a one-of-a-kind tent show sure to satisfy the aesthetic eye. Special this year is a piece of metal-craft by artisan Chris Crawford of Minnetonka, who has developed an ingenious apple holder that can be sized for the youngest and most ... ample ... amongst us. But don't clamp that apple too tight, Chris! It has to fall off!

Teeth-Rattling Terror...and Fun!

This year's 100th Anniversary Apple Shoot should be more thrilling -- and safer -- than ever, due to new rules that require at least three weeks of firearms training for all contestants. Also, men -- and women, too, for the second consecutive year! -- who wish to wish to be Apple Tablers will use Chris Crawford's Apple Holders in hopes that it will help avoid unfortunate incidents like the wounding of Johnny Smeltstrom by Steve Olson, who accomplished what everyone agrees was an excellent piece of shooting when he tracked the apple as it prematurely fell from Johnny's head and shot a bullet right through the apple as it passed Johnny's sternum. Ouch! The new safety measures have led to some grumbling from long-time Apple Shoot enthusiasts, but most everyone agrees that sometimes the "old school" isn't the best school!

Remember, early sign up for Apple Tablers begins tomorrow. Tourists welcome! See you there!

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One Minute Story: Takin' it to the Streets

A One-Minute Story ...

"I'm mad as hell, and I'm..."

"Not going to take it anymore...yes, of course," I said drolly. This was becoming tiresome.

"But I really am. I'm ready."

"I'm sure you are," I said, and began packing up the assorted papers and file folders I'd spread across John's desk. The piles of papers and folders and magazines already heaped thereon made it hard to tell which papers were mine and which were his.

"That's mine," John said.

"Yes, yes, of course. I really have to go now. I have a meeting ..."

"I told you I'm ready to do something. What are we going to do?"

"What would you like to do," I said, sighing and sitting back down, briefcase closed upon my lap.

"Something. I'm going to quit. And tell the media. I've had enough of the lies, the deception, the sheer callousness..."

"Yes, well... I have to advise against that. You'd only find yourself alone. Ostracized. Jobless. Is that what you want?"

"Yes! I mean...no, not really," John looked sad, and conflicted, and I realized that he had told the truth the first time -- like Garbo, he wanted to be alone... but he wanted it to happen to him...not to happen because of his own actions.

"There are always consequences," I said. "Every action is a decision, especially when you can predict the outcome. What will you decide to do today?"

"I don't know yet. I have a lot of work to do."

"Don't we all..."

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What I ate in Chicago

I spent a week in Chicago at a trade show in the massive McCormick Place. I'm back now and my feet still ache. The highlights of the trip hinged upon, as usual in my case, what I ate and where I ate it. Here, for your consumption (get it, consumption...'cause it's about food...get it? no, not tuberculosis...what are thinking? Anyway..., is a recap of my visit.

• Best cheeseburger -- the Boston Blackie at Boston Blackies. A half-pound of ground, grilled, cheesed deliciousness, washed down with a draft Sam Adams. Enjoyed with Travelin' Colleague Tony, who is from Boston.
• Best Steak -- The New York Strip at the Saloon. This also was the only steak eaten on the trip, but it was a good choice -- gigantic, moist and delicious all the way through.
• Best Spaghetti & Meatballs -- A little known fact about me is that I only order spaghetti and meatballs at Italian restaurants. However, I didn't go to any Italian restaurants in Chicago. After Friend Brian (one of the proud few that read this blog) blatantly ignored my plaintive cell-phoned pleas to attend his party, I walked Michigan Avenue, bought the Marvel 1602 graphic novel at Virgin Records, read more graphic novels at Borders, and even found time to pick up a bracelet for my lovely wife. Upon my return to the hotel, I ordered spaghetti bolognese from room service and dove into the world of 17th century superheroes. The spaghetti could have used some meatballs.
• Best Drink -- Gin and Tonic, Tavern on Rush. The drink was competent, the conversation, with Friend Nancy and later joined by Travelin' Colleague Tony, was delightful. Even more important was that while I waited alone at the bar for said Friend Nancy, I'm pretty sure that at least two attractive women gave me the eye and a little smile. I'm happily married with three kids, so just that's enough fantasy to keep me going for awhile.
• Best Sushi -- Mirai. I don't even like sushi. This sushi has left me craving sushi. The warm saki and Tsing Tao only embellished the experience.
• Best Pizza -- None.
• Worst Pizza -- Connie's at McCormick Place -- thick slabs of cheese covering bland red sauce and chunks of recently defrosted sausage.
• Most Average Burger -- The Big 'N' Tasty, McDonald's at McCormick Place. First off, the the McDonald's "Express" doesn't carry the Quarter Pounder. Secondly, "Express" in McDonald's language apparently means "30 minute wait". However, the Big'N'Tasty was, as expected, medium sized and OK.
• Best Pancakes -- Pancakes & Eggs in Rosemount. I didn't eat breakfast for the entire trip -- too lazy, too stressed. Until Thursday, on my way out of town, when Friend Colleen and Kid Will intercepted me on the way to the airport for delightful conversation and funny faces. Pancakes were fluffy, but small. However, two extra stars to the P&E for providing Corned Beef Hash as a side dish. It wasn't quite Mary Kitchen ... in fact, it might have been fresher than that... despite that, it was a delicious, welcome and stomach-filling treat, and I happily fell asleep upon takeoff.
• Best Homecoming -- My 16-month-old, who gave me just about the biggest hug ever. Awwwwwwwwwwww....

I'm back now...